Says it all.
Why we like him: Tim Teufel is the true essence of a random ballplayer. Do you remember him? I don't remember a single thing about him other than he wound up in packs of baseball cards occasionally. For all I know, he could be Manti Te'o's girlfriend's uncle, a figment of my baseball-filled imagination.
He did have a career though. He batted .254 over 11 years with 3 different teams. He even hit .308 in 1987 in limited action. In 1984, he finished fourth in Rookie of the Year voting. Then again, Kirby Puckett finished third that year, and Alvin Davis won, so that whole election process that season is probably best left unmentioned ever again.
Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Teufel, ballplayer.