Rated Random: Steve Lyons

Mullet? Check. Rated Rookie? Check. Fully clothed? Check. I hope.

Why we like him: It's a great thing to be remembered for something. Ripken and DiMaggio had their streaks. Pete Rose has his hits. Hank Aaron has (not "had," in my opinion) his hom runs. Hersheiser has his innings. Ryan has his strikouts. Steve Lyons, on the other hand, will forever be remembered as "the guy who dropped his pants." Lyons was probably the strangest and most eccentric player I can remember from my childhood. The oddballs of the 70s like Al Hrabosky and Mark Fidrych were just before my time, so someone had to step up and become the league's next great weirdo.

Steve Lyons earned the nickname "Psycho" for many obvious reasons. My personal favorite was that he would occasionally play tic-tac-toe with a baserunner, a teammate, or by himself in the infield dirt with his spikes while playing defense. However, his moment of glory came on July 16, 1990, at Tiger Stadium during a nationally televised game between his White Sox and the Tigers. After laying down a nice bunt, Lyons hustled down the line to beat the throw, sliding head-first into first base, which in all honesty, is stupid enough. After being called safe to complete the play, Lyons, as anyone would, called time to dust himself off.

As for what happened next, I have no idea what was going through Steve's mind. Did he, for some reason, think he was alone in the ballpark? Did he feel like he was getting into the shower? Was he secretly a nudist? No one will ever know. What we do know is that Lyons proceeded to unbuckle his belt, pull down his pants, and brush off the excess dirt that got inside his breeches. After a few seconds, Lyons realized he was showing his undergarments to a few thousand stunned fans, he quickly pulled up his pants and wallowed in his embarassment.

Steve Lyons was more than just a semi-lousy ballplayer. He was a bonafied nutcase who will go down in baseball lore as "the guy who dropped his pants." Over the course of his 9-year career, Lyons played for the Red Sox and White Sox (both made by Hanes), Braves (which he had to be to get drop trou in front of 14,000 people and a television audience), and Expos(eds). His career batting average was a mediocre .252 and he only hit 19 home runs. He did, however, commit the most errors in the league in 1988. On the bright side, not one of those involved indecent exposure (at least that we're aware of).

Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Lyons, Ballplayer.

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